Life Update: 02/18/19

Personal

It’s been a while since I have been able to write something of substance. So much has changed within the last few weeks, but it is definitely a welcomed change that has impacted me positively, for the most part. So lets begin..

Yesterday I had attended a Sarcoma Cancer fundraiser in memory of a young neighbour of mine who fought against this diseases for years. Unfortunately, her battled ended in 2018 but her memory lives on through her family, friends, and community that have come together to raise awareness for sarcoma cancer. It is nights such as these that remind me of the power of community and how when we come together, great things are possible.

In a separate area of my life, which is that of fitness and weight-loss, I am proud to say that I am now down 45 pounds. To be honest, the past few days have been a struggle. With going out often, to valentines day, to just craving junk food, I haven’t been keeping up my routine as best as I can. So with that in mind, I’m taking today as a fresh start and going back to my regular regimen with an open mind and good intentions.

The school component of my life has been very chaotic. This term definitely maintains a heavier course load compared to my first term. There is constantly stuff to do- presentations to prepare for, papers to outline, statistics exams to study for- and it’s quite exhausting. This weekend was the only weekend I have had off since the start and yet even when there is no school scheduled…theres still assignments to do. Fortunately for me, I have a fantastic support system that encourages me on a daily basis. I have to give a shoutout to Chantal here because without her constant encouragement and kindness, I would probably be very overwhelmed and unable to focus without freaking out. I just recently found out I finished a course with an A-, and although its not my finest work, I will take the grade because that class was a pain in my… well… you get it.

Emotionally and mentally, I do feel rather drained lately, but when I say emotionally I don’t mean romantically. It’s actually rather hard to explain. I am the type of person who invites my friends to come speak to me whenever they are going through something difficult or just need someone to vent to, speak to, or seek friendly advice from, but not professional advice. Within the past 2 weeks, a large amount of my friends have actually come to me, and while I typically feel honoured and willing to help as best as I can, a lot of their stories hit home for me. As a result, I feel almost tired all the time and I think it’s because I have been shouldering everyones concerns, which normally does not impact me at all. But with school taking its own toll on me, this second source is also impacting me as well. I think it’s time for me to engage in some type of self-care for a little while and take a step back from offering my help until I feel recharged and ready to help others without draining myself.

I went out on a second date with the lovely guy I had mentioned in a previous post. Although I am still not dropping names, I can reveal that the second date was just as good as the first. We went to my favourite restaurant, which he says he loved, and then ventured to play some games at Dave and Busters. And again, it just felt right. We can poke fun at each other, and laugh at one another and just be ourselves, which I think is very rare these days. But he is also very sweet, kind, and warm, which makes me that much more comfortable with him. I will be seeing him again, I think a few times, this coming week and we already have various plans in March. I’m excited to see where this goes.

I’ll have to cut this post a bit short for now, as I have a school group call for 2 presentations that I need to take in 5 minutes. I hope everyone has a blessed week ahead of them!

Gym Time

Health

Alright so I have been to the gym the past few days because I got bored of exercising at home. To be honest, I didn’t think I would miss the gym as much as I did! There’s so much to do, new exercises to try out, and you get to meet so many people too. Also, I love the fact that I get to go with my friend as opposed to going by myself.

As mentioned in a previous post, cardio is my favourite thing. I know, I know, why?! The truth is, I’m not too sure why. I feel my best when I’m walking, jogging, or running on the treadmill. When I run, I can only listen to certain songs, weird right? My music puts me in certain mind frames, which I think goes for most people. If my music is light and soft, I want to do something more at ease. But if my music is loud and intense, I’m more inclined to run. Songs like Back from the Dead by Skillet and MIC drop by BTS make me more inclined to run and it’s like I almost forget I’m running.

Yesterday┬áI did a mix of cardio, legs, and machines that…well…help to shape your butt. I won’t do squats at the gym simply because I can do them at home, but theres this seemingly small machine that I’d rather do reps on while I’m there. If you’ve been to a gym you know which one I’m talking about, the one that you put your foot on, extend back, and you’re just lifting weights that help to shape your butt.

Needless to say, its the morning after and my legs are super sore, but its totally worth it. I had to crawl out of bed this morning because my legs just weren’t working. Stairs today are a bit of a nightmare, but hey that means progress!

Also, this gym seems to have members that are much more friendly compared to gyms that I have been to before. A lot of the members smile and say hi, especially if they’re taking a spot next to you. I’ve noticed that a lot of the girls tend to compliment each other, which is really nice to see. A lot of the guys tend to talk about their tattoos with each other, which is super cool. I complimented this guys piece on his arm and we had a discussion about tattoos as we were both on the treadmill. This type of environment makes me more inclined to do things that I normally wouldn’t do. It gives me the comfort and confidence to engage in difference exercises and put myself out there without feeling judged.

The moral of the story is that I fell in love with the gym again. I am so happy that I am making more progress towards how I treat my body and giving it the attention and care it deserves. The gym is also giving me a form of confidence that has been lost for some time now. I’m already looking forward to going back tomorrow night after class!

Fitspirations

Health

My fitspirations? Ryan and my cousin Daniela. I’ll note my progress near the end of this post!

So late last year I decided to change my eating habits because the reality was.. I hated how I felt. I didn’t feel healthy anymore. I was dealing with my emotions by overeating and I just didn’t like how I looked. I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. This took a really big toll on my self-esteem and made me actually isolate myself for a little while. I have always been surrounded by very healthy people, and during this time, it just added to me feeling so negative about myself.

This started to change when I met Ryan. The thing is, he is a really attractive guy and that made me nervous. I didn’t think I could even compare to him. So when we first started talking I was very hard on myself. One day I decided to open up to him and just told him all of my insecurities. One of the best feelings in the world is when someone acknowledges how you feel and talks to you about your emotions as opposed to brushing them off.

Ryan offered his assistance on workout plans, and healthy alternatives, etc. and he has been my biggest support system since. He always ensures that I’m taking vitamins and that I’m getting all my calories in for the day and that I’m drinking enough water. And its nice to have someone that is constantly encouraging your progress, even when you cant see it yourself.

My cousin Daniela is probably the healthiest person I know. When I first started my little journey, she helped me out with meal plans and exercise options. From time to time she’ll check in on me and ensure that I’m okay and getting all my nutrients. I still remember the first thing she said to me when I told her that I wanted to go back to how I was on the earlier side of 2018; you do this for you and no one else. You don’t compare your progress to someone else’s progress. You go at your own pace. Let yourself indulge in something once in a while and don’t be too strict. You look good as you are, but if you want to do something I will help you get to where you want to be.

Initially, this was hard for me because I have always been prone to comparing myself to others. I never really incorporated a workout routine to my daily schedule because I was always busy running around for school and work. But lately, Ryan has inspired me to workout. He works out everyday and I just thought.. why not give it a go? So I started to do cardio again and just fell back in love with it.

But as time went on, I got into my own rhythm and just started to feel good again. I stopped paying attention to others and just looked at my own circumstances. I stopped eating unhealthy foods and just got back to my healthy routine. I started looking at my food, preparing it on my own, and looking at the nutritional value. I haven’t eating fast food in months and I truly feeling good inside.

My initial goal was to lose the weight I gained, which was approximately 10 pounds. As of this morning, I have officially lost 37.1 pounds. I do want to focus more on toning my physique, but for now, I am so happy with what I have been able to accomplish.

For those looking to make a change, I won’t lie to you. it can be really hard at first. But with the right mindset, you can do anything. The best thing I did, was surround myself with people that encourage me and support what I am trying to accomplish. I know that its difficult to not look at others and compare yourself to them, but try your best to keep in mind that everyone starts/started somewhere. You are on your own journey! Don’t be too busy reading someone else’s story and forget to read your own. Despite what others say, you’ve got this! You can do this! And most importantly, make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. Wishing all of you fantastic readers all the health and happiness in the world!